When things failed to get better, I had to make an appointment. I was avoiding a visit and crossing my fingers that I'd somehow never run out of prescription refills. I've been reintroduced to antipsychotics. I used to loath the cocktail that I'm currently on when it was first attempted years ago. I despised it so much that I stopped taking medication entirely, resulting in my swift downfall. Nobody likes you off meds, trust what I'm telling you. No matter how high your confidence inflates, I can assure you that all your worst qualities will inflate too.
I do wish sometimes that I could really stop. I like to envision myself improving my mental wellness with the things everyone without a degree told me to do: go into nature, journal your feelings, repeat affirmations throughout the day, call a friend ... You know, the most innovative and groundbreaking suggestions. Cut to me dropping to my knees and exclaiming, "Is that all it took this whole time!?"